The Past

I entered the coffee shop feeling like I haven't slept in years, my hands shook, my heart felt frozen, and my face shivered with tingling aches that grew to the sides of my jawbones. I was careless to where I was, the light was too warm, also too bright. The people looked faintly recognizable, but I was careless in the moment. The door dinged too loud, I almost crawled out of my skin. There she was, the woman with the long face, the marbled jewels, and the black fingernails. I didn't care who she was here to visit, I ran to her booth, as I pulled out her book from my tote bag. My hands folded over the cover, I was cautious not to lose the folded sheets or the ripped pages, I handed it over almost inside of a plead. Her dark green eyes glared through my skin for a hard, long minute. The book rumbled beneath of my arms; it took every bit of strength I had to keep it closed. "This belongs to you." I whispered as I skimmed the other table for listening ears. She sat back with her arms crossed; she pondered on her next move. She wore a purple shirt with quarter sleeves. Her skin was pale, the dark hair on her forearms slightly rose. She eventually reached out to touch my hands as she said, "no, I purposely left it here for you. It doesn't need me anymore, there were some sentences in it that I could not read. At first I wasn't sure who could possibly do it, until one day I saw you." Tears watered my eyes, my throat tightened before I spoke. "Please help me, I can't understand this. It is written in Greek or Latin." I wanted to burst out in anger, I don't understand what she meant by all her riddles. She pulled out a purple cup with a moon phase stained onto the medal, it clung to the white pattern table as she stood to her feet. "You will hear it as it comes to you." And before I knew it, she wrapped her arm around the man she used to visit in secret, they met with a kiss as they trailed off without ordering their usual black coffee, and biscuits. I covered my face inside of my hands, as my elbows held the book down before it screamed itself open. Help me. I sobbed to myself. I wasn't sure if my mind were playing tricks on me, or if I just simply needed a breath of fresh air, but I saw faces turn to mine as they whispered like it was a secret. I could hear them chanting that I was immature, I am conceited, I walk with my ass shaking my hips. I could hear them whispering that I was a nobody. I ran to my car in body shakes, I couldn't bring myself to steer on the road. Time was ahead of me; my head was constantly spinning. I buried myself into my dash, I don't know what to do. I kept repeating to myself, over and over. Bubbles of frustration expanded in my belly and spit out my throat. 

The moon had over risen above my windshield now, my mind ran so quickly. I sat in the booth of the coffee shop, I felt like I had raced home, but I hadn't. I glanced to the passenger side window, and I realized a young girl had accompanied me. Her hair was long, frizzy, tangled black. She wore a white long nightgown; she sat still as a statue. "Raelyn, drive." She spoke without moving her lips. As instructed, I put my keys in the ignition and started the car. 

My mind was fogged, word after word whispered to me, "she is barbie, she is queen B, she needs to fix her crown, she is so dramatic."  The talking exhausted me. Many times, I caught my heavy eyes droop with the streetlights. I just wanted the silence, I just wanted to drive to the destination to make it all end. I didn't care what I had to do. The girl in my seat was gone the second time I looked, and my feet pushed hard on the gas. I drove past signs that distantly looked familiar, fear crept my spine as the feeling of the unknown slipped through my mind. I continued to drive. I drove to a field where three men drank beer, as they stood at a fire that they created. Their backs leaned back as their bottles chucked to the stars. They spit guzzles of beer towards the pit of the fire. They wore black Levi jeans; they were in their mid to early forties. I parked my car far from being seen. I ducked myself into the weeds, I stood in front of this two-story brick house, with a small black fence, there was a wooden porch, the green tin roof was slanted, and the screen door opened with crying screams. I snuck my way inside before I could be seen. A skinny elderly lady, with a permed short hair, creaked her way up the steps. She held a black flashlight with her fist, as she carried a pile of thin blanket sheets. I covered myself to the corners of the wooden walls. The elderly lady screamed "you bitch!!" Racket of banging pounded my ear drums; I ran upstairs before the men outside could see me. The woman screamed louder and louder. I hid in the corners of the bathroom, as I peeked my head straight through the dark room. The young girl with the long black hair, dangled from the rope. The three men heard the screams, so they ran upstairs with muddy boots. Tears stung my eyes, fear scattered from my toes straight to my heart. Curtain drapes ripped to the floor, holes busted in the wall, and the men growled high voices that sent sharp pains to my belly. 

I hid in the darkest part in between the towel shelves, I dare not to breathe, I clenched my eyes past the sting. I didn't wiggle, I tried to hold in my breath, although I was sobbing. I needed to find a way out, but I was too scared to move. One of the men creaked the bathroom door open and my head shook as it rattled. The floor creaked when my foot almost fell through the soft, rotten areas. "What was that?" Someone spoke with an angry whisper. The light flipped on as I was revealed and exposed. The three large men began to charge straight forward. I was helpless, my mind replayed the young girl swinging lightly, back and forth. I thought I was dead, I saw my eyes flash before my eyes. I knew what they would do to me before they killed me. My throat felt tight like I already could feel the friction of the burn, from the rope. Immediate strength, as if it were not my own was handed to me. Weapons lay lazily upon the shelves. My hands moved like I had cat-like reflexes, as I stabbed, as I kicked, as I twisted, as I beat them down. The elderly lady looked angry, but she also looked frightened, she looked as she had seen a ghost. I stabbed her in the gut. I ran out with pounding, annoying alarms circled through the house. I ran and ran. I should be panting for breath, but I felt light and pumped. I darted for my vehicle as I drove to my rock for sleep. The feeling of fear, and sorrow drifted away from my mind. I felt nothing at all. Time was nothing to me anymore. I wanted to rest, I wanted to feel at peace, but I still did not. I felt myself swing, and this rope choked my neck. I couldn't pull myself down. I floated in the air, swinging. I was trapped, but something seemed different now, something seemed brighter. I felt close to something, although I was not sure what that could be. I felt myself drift as I fell asleep.